A passion project unlike any other, Andy’s Angels is the compassion project of Kayla Shepherd, and it exists for a very important reason.

My original connection with them came about through my networking with the Chamber of Commerce, where I am as active as I possibly can be in order to connect with these incredible local charities and businesses. As it so happens, I had worked with businesses similar to and overlapping with the Andy's Angels charity, and they had given me a glowing testimonial (it really goes to show what word of mouth and taking an active interest in your community will do, and I'm so thankful).

But Mike, I hear you ask, Who are Andy’s Angels and why are you telling us about them now?

Well, Dear Reader, we’re currently working together again! And I just know I'm going to want to sing and shout about their latest venture (reveal at the end of the article), so I really ought to explain who they are, what they’re all about, and what a ‘grief play cafe’ could possibly mean...

"What we have once enjoyed deeply we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us."

Helen Keller

Back in 2017, Kayla and her daughter lost Andy. Words can’t describe what they went through next (especially not mine). There is no sweeping that feeling under the rug, and it’s insulting to pretend that anything would be able to feel the same again, let alone being able to ‘carry on as normal’. And – for better and for worse – things weren’t the same again, because that’s why Kayla decided to start Andy’s Angel in Andy’s name. Because she recognised that grief was not exclusive only to her: it was something that her children shared, and the family and friends of Andy and all who knew him. Not only that, but countless other families – wives, mothers, daughters, husbands, fathers and sons – had lost loved ones too. Who were they turning to?

Kayla recognised that she was wasn’t alone, and that - through grief – she may just be able to cultivate a community for the people who truly needed one, now more than ever.

The Andy’s Angels charity has absolutely gone on to be that community that Kayla needed herself at the time and has gone on to help countless others in similar situations.

“How do you spell ‘love’?“ – Piglet
“You don’t spell it…you feel it.”- Pooh

On this shoot, I visited the Grief Play Cafe which, although at first glance, may sound morbid, in actual fact it was one of the most positive places you could find. The energy was wholesome and uplifting, bringing together people who needed to focus on hope rather than loss, and people who were trying to build a brighter future rather than risk losing themselves dwelling in the painful past. And what's paradoxical, is that it wasn't just 'not morbid' - it wasn't even sad. People were playing games. People were dressing up. People were interacting and enjoying the space and enjoying each other's company.

From what I've seen in my life and especially here, grief can often lead you to humour, love and optimism – a far cry from the pity we often instinctively give to those who are struggling. I love that Kayla has created a community that does just that and brings those in pain what they actually need: a safe space, an understanding, a community, and compassion.

Another thing I really admire and respect is that the Grief Cafe is a space for children (of all ages – because we're all just big kids too really, aren't we), and that Andy's Angels even have Youth Ambassadors, so that children who come to use the space and take solace in the community have someone closer to their own age to look to.

But I'm getting ahead of myself...

Off the back of our Chamber of Commerce connection, and after a few chats, I drafted a proposal and I was thrilled that Kayla saw the merit of what I had to say, and really appreciated that I resonated with them, their ethos and their efforts. It felt like a really natural fit to work alongside each other, being on the same wavelength in an emotional and holistic sense, and with the empathy I came in with as 'Mike' - as me - not just under the banner of ‘THE VIDEOGRAPHY COMPANY'. (Although, this is something I do actually pride myself on – that ‘mike b designs’ isn’t a faceless business that suggests formality, corporation, and those other more soulless priorities. There is so much of me in my company’s ethos and clients actually work directly with me. It's important to me because, as a smaller practice, I can be unique. After all, no one else can be ‘Mike’.)

The brief for this video shoot was not only to share the amazing work of Andy's Angels as a concept and a charity, but to celebrate and champion the incredible team of staff. As you might expect, this venture is heartfelt and wholesome from the ground up, and so everyone who works there also has their own story of grief and loss and they combine an essential understanding and compassion with the skillset of the job role they take on.

"Someone leaves and their goneness is so big you keep tripping over it”

Michael Rosen, Michael Rosen’s Sad Book

Another element that made Andy's Angels such a new experience for me, despite my previous work with other charities, was that they were so focused on the children and the family dynamic. I suppose it's obvious, when you think about it, that adults all deal with grief in various ways and through various routes – perhaps they seek private counselling, perhaps through the NHS, perhaps they'll enrol in new hobbies and classes to divert their attention, perhaps they'll even self-medicate in an attempt to soothe themselves. Children don't have that agency. Children can't make the decisions about what will suit them 'best'. Children will usually be at the mercy of what their parent or guardian decides is best for them, and I suppose this will commonly be based off of what would be best for them as the adult individual.

The Grief Cafe is such a wonderfully layered space and experience for children. They get to play, and share, and create. They can talk if they want, or they can be quiet and reflective. They can engage with others or they can fly solo. There are other people in their own age group who understand what they're going through. I think it also normalises the conversation of ‘loss’ that is likely to come up amongst children, when they inevitably compare families of friends (it’s how we all learn after all). Heart-warmingly (and heart-achingly), children are unfettered by our adult ‘societal etiquette’: they won’t think twice about asking obvious questions, but what’s phenomenal about children is that they take that information at face value and just roll with it. Talk about a lesson in acceptance! Even as a parent, witnessing this is still amazing.

These things are all HUGE leaps in children's mental health. To be able to meet children at their level and give them options for how they express, understand, and heal from their pain is just so touching and heartening.

Because of this, Andy's Angels also acts as a safeguarding hub for these children – children who are even more vulnerable than their peers, and that should be commended all by itself.

"Less is more, only when more is too much”

Frank Lloyd Wright

It may come as no surprise, then, that some of my biggest challenges on this shoot weren't to do with cameras and lenses and 'being in the right place at the right time to get the perfect shot'. This shoot was about organic moments and authenticity. I didn't have to 'work my subject' or 'create an atmosphere'. There were no smoke and mirrors. I just needed to be there, be open, and let life unfold around me (I know it makes it sound like I'm setting up camp in a woodland for the night to photograph badgers... but I suppose there is a common energy: these people, and these interactions didn't require my presence – they required my kindness, my empathy and – really – my quietness.)

The greatest challenge was therefore making sure that I didn't encroach or overstep the mark within this safe haven and with this community. I needed to be sensitive and mindful, in my approach but also with my language. People talk about trigger warnings, and in such a place as a 'grief cafe', you obviously need to be mindful of things like this! I didn't know (and I had no business prying into) the ins and outs of what people had gone through.

Some people wouldn't want to talk and probably wouldn't want to interact directly with me, and that's okay. I wasn't there to get anyone to 'work the camera'.

In fact, this ended up steering my creative vision for the shoot and the edit. Much like a nature photographer (yes, we're carrying on this analogy, but with fewer badgers now), the 'hands-off' approach felt like the best one, and not just with me and my presence: it felt more diplomatic and compassionate to separate words/anecdotes from actions. By that, I mean that Kayla and I discussed layering the audio separately, like a voiceover, to be able to separate footage of everyone interacting/creating/playing from the words that were spoken about the charity, the nature of loss, and the ethos behind the very environment that was being featured before your eyes.

I suppose, essentially, it created a protective barrier, removing the absolute ownership of someone's words – taking the pressure of the story-telling off of them, but also creating an account that was universal and applicable to all: it didn't matter whose voice you heard and whose face you saw – this was a shared experience in the Andy's Angels community, and vulnerability could be protected in this way.

I think it was absolutely the right approach to take for this project. It kept me as the 'nature photographer' (here he goes again about badgers...) but also avoided putting anyone in a compromised position that risked making them feel uncomfortable.

"Grief is the price we pay for love."

Queen Elizabeth II

Something that stood out to me was the general involvement – both to have been invited into this community, but also to see it thriving. I don't have one standout 'moment', really, other than the conversation I had after the first delivery of the video: Kayla was overwhelmed with the personable approach that I brought to the video, and all of the Trustees and other partners of Andy's Angels were also blown away by how we had captured their magic.

(Note – this was their magic, remember. I just saw it and filmed it, which is one of my absolute favourite parts of my job and of ‘mike b designs’. As I say on my website, I'm all about the heart and soul and those moments most people miss, and I want to be there to see them and be able to show them back to clients and say "You. You did this.")

It really does go to show how much Andy's Angels touched me because, off the back of this, I made an effort to become more involved and I even became an Ambassador for the charity, promoting them in the local area and within business circles.

I was really proud to make this video for them, and I'm so happy with how it came out, seeing what I'd seen on the day. I'm especially glad that Kayla liked it too – phew! Well, it must have gone well because, as I mentioned earlier, I'm back working with Kayla and the team as they celebrate their latest venture – the Andy’s Angels choir! We’ve already done the shoot and I can’t wait to share what I've been editing with you.

Bearing witness to this vulnerability and being able to use the video like a mirror to show these people just how incredible they are was really gratifying. At the end of the day, I think they're a fantastic charity and more people need to know about them.

And so, with that in mind, please do go and check them out. The video featuring the Grief Play Cafe can be found on my website, on Youtube, and on their website at andysangels.org.uk, and stay tuned for the next video of their amazing new choir!