The Brigitte Trust: With A Little Help From My Friends

This article is about an incredible little charity in Surrey, called The Brigitte Trust. This amazing local community is all about creating a support system for people experiencing a terminal illness or end-of-life care, and all the subtle experiences in between.

This charity is truly all about connection and compassion.

No one wants to go through the worst times in their lives alone. And The Brigitte Trust ensure you never have to.

“Some people go to priests; others to poetry; I, to my friends.”

Virginia Woolf, The Waves (1931)

Connection:

I believe that the way I meet a lot of my clients, and the projects I work on, is to do with so much more than just ‘networking’, as we understand Networking to mean. I believe that you can base your professional relationships on locality, on budget, or ‘friends of friends’ - sure – but you can also connect with people who see you; who share your ethos, who empathise. They understand you and the story you want to tell, and that is a quality and a service that you can’t get from The Yellow Pages (showing my age!) or ‘CheckATrade’.

I was flattered and humbled to have been introduced to The Brigitte Trust off the back of my work with another charity, Andy’s Angels and The Grief Cafe. What helped them to reach out to me was that they saw how I’d worked with them to create a safe and positive hub, and that I was dedicated to showcasing and celebrating charities’ incredible ethos. It’s so important for me, when working with charities, that we represent the community behind their support system and in the work they do with individuals and groups alike – this isn’t just a ‘drop in, pick up a leaflet and work it out on your own’ kind of service; these selfless organisers really want to connect with you and help you, in whatever way that might mean.

Where it would be all too easy to show people struggling and tackling these difficult and overwhelming personal experiences, the aim for the charity – and the brief for my shoot – was to focus on the warmth and the heart that was there amidst all that hardship. It doesn’t take away from what people are going through, but it’s someone holding your hand for every step of the way.

Being Worthy of the Spotlight:

Before I go into telling you about the Shoot itself and the way we went about the day, I want to share why this video and this project was especially exciting and moving for me. I don’t think I can overstate how important and rewarding it is to me to feel like I am helping people/a person to tell their story – to celebrate their wins, to champion their cause, and to shine a light on small or local efforts that could so easily slip under the radar. I want to give people a platform, and – I'll be honest – I want to help people who deserve to have a platform and a voice.

It’s true of so many of my clients – artists, businesses and charities alike – but there are stories I help to tell where selfless Samaritans, honest hard-workers, and original innovators are often lost in the ‘busyness’ of their business. I love when I get to show you who these people are. To share their stories behind the scenes and to give them a voice where perhaps they haven’t had one before.

Lights, Camera… Rugby Club:

Unlike the charity’s heart-warming efforts, the weather on the day for shooting was miserable! The sky was dreary and grey, it was raining, and it was windy to boot. Thankfully, it was hardly a project that called for the drone! I was more interested in the people inside the building than the surroundings. Which was just as well, because we were actually filming inside a Rugby Club.

This presented some of my first challenges! As you might expect in a Rugby Club, the walls were awash with Club memories – photos of players, events, awards and trophies. Which were all very fun and nostalgic but didn’t provide the contextual backdrop for why I was there that today, which was of course to visit the sessions run by The Brigitte Trust, all about terminal illness and sensitive support.

Because of this, it was even more important to direct our attention away from the surroundings and to focus on the human interactions at the forefront of our story. And thank goodness the venue didn’t distract us, because those up-close and intimate human moments ended up providing all the heart I could have hoped for. Watching someone’s hands twiddle in their lap uncertainly while they spoke about their experiences – seeing the focus in someone’s eyes – watching a smile unfurl on someone’s lips – and the all-important moment of connection, when one person’s hand would squeeze another’s. Such actions and gestures say more than a whole paragraph of words ever could, and I’m so glad I was there to witness them.

Once again – as is often the way with charities – this was just the loveliest group of people I met that day. As with some of my support-based videos, such as my work with The Bus Shelter, you can’t always feature who you think you might want to, and I certainly had a little taste of that again here, which I’ll go into later. But it was really heartening and satisfying for me to be able to feature some of these fabulous individuals on this shoot. The first woman we meet in the video – the lady in yellow – was an absolute character! My Nan would have loved to be her friend, I could just tell. She was so lovely and so full of warmth, with this real ‘get up and go’ attitude. She was kind enough to welcome us into her home and it was there that I felt her story and the story of the charity itself really came into their own – there were little details about her surroundings that really spoke to me. The softness and vibrancy of the flowers by her front door said a lot to me about the efforts of the charity, that I don’t even know if I can put into words here. Some things are just about the visual and the feeling, you know? Then there was this card she’d received – and it was perfect. It wasn’t orchestrated! We didn’t have to go and buy it as a prop, and she didn’t have to go into her loft and dust it off in order to make something look relevant – it was just there, quietly saying everything that the video and The Brigitte Trust were also saying – that “you are stronger than you know”. It was so effortless and yet packed so much of a punch.

I love little references like that, and I felt like this video managed to hit so many. And – I'm going to do it; I’m going to toot my own horn – I’m proud of the imagery and the metaphors in this video.

Sensitivity:

It’s always so unknown – walking into an environment of such high emotional intensity. As a newcomer and a fresh face, you don’t know everyone yet and it’s hard to know how each person is going to want you to show up. I mean, it might sound obvious – anyone with family or friends in Hospices or Nursing Homes; anyone with loved ones going through grief or experiencing loss are all going to know what it’s like to walk that fine line between ‘wanting to offer infinite support’ and ‘walking on eggshells’.  You want to be hands on, and yet show up sensitively, tactfully, and where you’re wanted.

Showing up as a professional, when you have a job to do and a brief to meet, could easily complicate the picture further. It would be easy to bulldoze in, achieve what you set out to do, and get the heck out of there. But, at the end of the day, you’ll only ruffle feathers at best (potentially really upset people at worst!) and come away with something soulless. Not only that, but on shoots that you know are going to be sensitive and emotive, you’d be doing everyone a disservice not to read the room and adjust accordingly.

For instance, I completely respected that some individuals wouldn’t want to be featured on camera or speak for an interview. This was their space – their sanctuary – and I wasn’t a member of the community. For another, as a professional, you have to be sensitive to Camera Fatigue. I work all day every day with cameras and footage, but your subjects may never have been in front of a camera in their lives! Consider a shoot day of opening up about emotive topics and a camera following you around or being in your face the entire time. It just wouldn’t feel good! There is NO point in me belligerently rocking up with the aim to ‘just do my job and get out’. ‘Just doing my job’ means meeting my clients at their level and – frankly – being something of a chameleon. Some gigs will need me to bring the hype and get the subjects energised. Others, however, require me to blend into the surroundings and just witness.

The Sound of Silence:

If you’ve seen the video, you’ll have seen the shots with the circle of empty chairs. Personally, this was such a layered moment for me. Firstly, because it was one of those times where I needed to be able to adapt and empathise: as I alluded to earlier, there were people attending that session who didn’t want to feature in the footage, which is absolutely fair enough and I will always respect that and do my utmost to work to their needs and wishes. Secondly, because the empty chairs did so much leg work symbolically, in the same way that silence can feel loud. Absencecan actually draw attention to what isn’t there – as viewers, we subconsciously ask why those seats are empty. And, of course, with The Brigitte Trust, we don’t need to answer that subliminal question. We know why absence and loss are poignant here, and why silence can hit us harder than any words. On this note – thirdly and lastly – empty chairs don’t just have to symbolise loss or absence. The stillness of the shot, to me, also hinted at new beginnings – a session about to start; a room waiting in readiness. The calm before the storm, as it were, only this ‘storm’ can be one of acceptance and community, connection and compassion. With many emotional-based charities and support communities, stillness and moments of reflection are just as productive and needed as moments of action and productivity.

As anyone viewing my videos (and reading these articles!) will probably be able to tell, I love a metaphor. I think it’s so meaningful to be able to layer your footage and actually have a narrative and a point. It’s fairly easy to shoot pretty pictures, all things considered. It’s not as easy to create meaning. Also, I love that there are little nods and references and almost ‘easter eggs’ in the videos for people, if they’re that way inclined. Things like the biscuit tin! I couldn’t have planned it better if I’d tried – was it an old Roses tin, or one that used to contain Scottish all-butter shortbread? No! This biscuit tin showed a child pulling another child along in a trolley. Maybe I sound insane... but think about it! Think about the unplanned symbolism. Even the biscuit tin showed a scene of support – of moving forwards. It was... chef’s kiss. I just love little details like that. And it wasn’t my doing really. This isn’t me trying to brag. This was a beautiful example of synchronicity and seeing the opportunity as a story-teller.

The empty rocking chair – a poignant symbol when it comes to talking about end-of-life care. A chipped coffee cup – painstakingly glued back together. (Should I carry on waxing lyrical about the human condition, or are you all yawning now? I digress...)

"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it."

Maya Angelou, American memoirist and Civil Rights activist

Reframing for Positivity:

Another chapter in this tale I feel I need to talk about is The Brigitte Trust Neurological society, where individuals are living with neurological disorders. One of the most fabulous people was the gentleman who talks at the end about The Brigitte Trust being a bridge for him. I really loved the time he gave to me when I interviewed him – it was a joy to feature him in this video, and you’ll notice how he just lit up the room with his smile! He was actually a history teacher, and he was telling me about how he developed his neurological disorder. At one point he was teaching rugby to a group of boys and he suddenly just couldn't speak properly - he forgot what he was doing, and he said it was an absolute shambles because he knew what he was doing in his mind and he really wanted to be able to express what it was, but his body just wasn't allowing to him. And what really struck me about the retelling of his story was how he focused on the human interaction, and not how upsetting the experience was for him. He had this warmth and this twinkle in his eye as he told me that the boys in his class were completely thrown and didn’t know what was going on and – being boys – laughed! That was very human - not just a kind of ‘down and out’ attitude. He was a lovely character, and he had some beautiful things that he said. I wish I could have put all of his interview in, but I just couldn't – time constraints, and all that jazz.

He also added, ‘there is always someone worse off than you’ and that’s something that is actually quite eye-opening and humbling when you think about it, not just at The Brigitte Trust, but in your own life as well.

Something I took away from the entire shoot was the overwhelming sense of positivity from this group of people who were there for such difficult and complicated reasons. They knew they were part of something, and they knew that they were in the best place to get love and support and to connect with people who understood them at a very core level. And for The Brigitte Trust to create that safe hub and have that kind of legacy is incredible and really moving.

My moments:

Now I’m lucky enough that I usually get reminded through my work why I love doing what I do.  I think, on this occasion, this moment really hit me in the editing stage because there were moments where I found myself choking up or welling up a bit. And that’s a good thing! I get incredibly involved, emotionally, with charities and with people who are going through something – I really try and get myself into a position emotionally where I can resonate or empathise with the story or the experience I’m trying to portray.

One thing especially that hit me right in the feels was the lady in orange at the end, who was the leader of the Neurological Society within the Trust. She was looking up to the sky and she was saying “it's so important that these guys get together” and you can see in the video that she's welling up, and her eyes are starting to shine a little bit and it just catches me every time. And it amazes me - she does all of this and she pulls them together and she is this rock or glue for them. And they end up being the rock and glue for each other.

Because that’s another thing about The Brigitte Trust, much like with The Bus Shelter, the Trust holds these people accountable because they're part of a support network to each other, so they're not just there to be mollycoddled and pandered to, they're there to be a support mechanism for each other.  Surely, that’s what ‘community’ really means.

"You can cut all the flowers, but you cannot keep Spring from coming"

Pablo Neruda, Poet and Politician

The Response:

Hearing back from Lucy, we had a lot of tears for this one. And I mean good tears! Moved tears. Not that I ruined it for them. As with The Bus Shelter, again, this collaboration was facilitated by another charity called Help Film, who worked to provide exposure for charities such as The Brigitte Trust in Surrey.

The people from Help Film were so struck by it (we also had a few tears on their side) and off the back of that was why they recommended me for The Bus Shelter, so... I'm really proud of this one! And I really felt like it hit the brief perfectly, which is always a satisfying moment. Not only was it incredible to meet everyone involved in the Trust, and to tell their story, but to come away feeling proud of the work you’ve done is just the cherry on top.

From this shoot and this experience, they've also said that they really loved working with me, that I was very transparent, and they liked, not only my style, but how the whole process was as well. I think that's important to capture – especially because my work and the collaboration between myself and my clients is so much more than me just rocking up with a camera!

Why will I always like doing jobs like this?

I like making a difference. I like being able to see a return on my own investment, as it were, and the client's investment as well - being able to tell stories for people who perhaps are so involved in their work that they can’t really see the wood for the trees, I suppose. So often these people who run charities are so busy with the day-to-day grind that they don't have time to shout about what they do or don't realise how well they're doing.

A huge part of my job is to go in somewhere and experience something that my clients are so used to experiencing every day. They can become numb to the full extent – painful and also joyous – of what they do (and this isn’t a criticism!). My job is to come in and bring my objectivity and, sometimes, naivety! It requires a fresh set of eyes to tell a story sometimes – to come in and see the potential for a creative vision.

It's a way of looking at something that perhaps speaks beyond what they've been able to achieve previously. So, I hope that's what viewers take away from the video for The Brigitte Trust, and from reading about the Behind The Scenes here.